Many children experience bullying at school. Bullying can be very distressing to children and worrying for parents. It can impact on children’s learning at school and in the the worst cases may lead to truancy, school refusal or mental health problems.
What is bullying?
Bullying can take a number of different forms but can often be defined as:
behaviour by an individual or group, usually repeated over time, that intentionally hurts another individual or group either physically or emotionally
In simple terms:
It is meant to be hurtful
- It keeps happening
- It can hurt a child physically
- It can hurt a child emotionally: by calling names, teasing or iisolating them
Bullying can take place for various reasons such as disability, race, religion or culture, sexual orientation, gender or health conditions
What schools must do
Schools have a duty to promote good behaviour and to prevent all forms of bullying among pupils. The head must publish the behaviour policy and bring in to the attention of parents. The anti-bullying policy may be part of the behaviour policy or a stand-alone document.
The school also has a general duty of care towards pupils to ensure that they are safe.
The government has issued guidance and advice for schools on tackling bullying. Links to these can be found under Government Guidance below.
What parents can do
If your child is being bullied at school this is likely to be upsetting for you as a parent as well. Although there will probably not be any instant answers, there are some steps that you can take.
Get copies of the school’s policies
The ones you will need will be the behaviour policy, the anti-bullying policy and the school’s complaints procedure. Depending on your child’s situation you may also want the special educational needs policy.
Talk to your child
Your child will need a lot of encouragement and support. They may be reluctant to tell you about the bullying. You can help by listening and reassuring them that it is not their fault. Try to build up their general confidence and give strategies they can use for helping themselves. Some of the websites in the useful links section have tips for children and young people on dealing with bullies.
Keep a record
When you are taking the matter up with the school it’s a good idea to be sure of your facts. Keep a record of any bullying incidents with as much detail as you can. If your child has been physically injured you may want to take photos of the injuries. Include in your report any medical evidence. If the bullying has taken place outside of school or on social media try to include any evidence you can.
Write down the impact that the bullying has had on your child. Has their behaviour changed, are they reluctant to go to school, are they anxious, withdrawn or not sleeping? Has their school work suffered? Has their behaviour at home changed?
Ask for a meeting
Initially you may want to raise your concerns informally with your child’s class teacher or form tutor. If you feel the bullying is not being dealt with, then ask for a meeting with a more senior teacher. This might be your child’s head of year, the senior teacher in charge of anti-bullying work or the headteacher. It can be helpful to take another person along to support you at the meeting.
Take along any written evidence about the bullying. It will also help to have some suggestions about what the school might do. These might be:
Sanctions for the bully and support for the victim in line with the behaviour policy:
- pastoral support for your child
- safe area where your child can go
- move of class for your child or the bully
- better supervision in the playground
- whole school projects or assemblies on bullying
- exclusion from school in serious cases
Agree at the meeting what action will be taken, what support your child will receive and when you will meet again to review the situation. Make sure everyone is in agreement.
You will need to allow time for the school to take action but if the bullying continues you can make a formal complaint in line with the school’s complaints procedure. This will generally be first to the headteacher and then to the governors of the school.